worldwide pablo

A modest proposal

Slate magazine today features an article today that argues our nation's budget woes can be solved by doing, well, nothing. The essential argument is that between health-care reform and existing tax laws, America's financial house will come to order in about 10 years. All Congress has to do is sit on its hands.

One paragraph in the article gets us to thinking:

But the do-nothing plan proves the point that the budget revolution does not need to be particularly revolutionary. Yes, the dollar figures are enormous, so big that it would appear to require "bold" plans that include massive new taxes or cruel new cuts. But, in fact, we don't really need to end Social Security, sell Alaska, or ship the poor to Canada to get back in the black. We just need to stick to current law—particularly the tax and health care provisions—and then we can tinker our way toward a better, healthier economy. [Emphasis added.]

Sell a state? Brilliant!

It's not such a radical idea when you think about it. After all, many states originally were territories purchased by the U.S. at one time or another. Imagine the possibilities if we sold Alaska back to the Russians! Or returned the midsection of the country (the so-called "flyover" states) back to France? These attractive properties are sure to fetch a handsome price -- billions probably, maybe even trillions!

Sure, we'd have to work a few kinks: no one would be thrilled at the idea of being bought out by, say, Yemen. [No offense to our Yemeni followers.] Shariah law just doesn't seem like a good fit for Kansas. On the other hand, imagine the possibilities if India successfully purchased the heartland. Jobs back in America! Curry on every corner! It's a win-win-win!

And don't think for a moment there wouldn't be buyers. The oil companies alone could create an auction-like frenzy that our debts would surely be settled in short order. Surpluses might be achievable. [Would that be a win-win-win-win?]

But what about the other states, the two coastlines, for example?  It seems problematic to market the East Coast. After all, these are the original colonies for the most part, and they stand to be the likely beneficiary of the Great State Sell-off. Out west, California doesn't seem like such a good purchase. It has a negative cash situation at the moment. Plus, the likely buyer, Mexico, probably wouldn't see any upside to buying something it pretty much has already re-occupied.

As for Oregon (and our neighbor to the north)? Our likely suitor would be Britain. But they're essentially broke. No, the better route -- if we're limiting the selling of states to former landholders -- would be to market them to the only folks in the land who are actually making money.

But then, they probably have a rightful claim to simply have the whole shebang returned for free, no?

Oh, well. Back to Square One...

"There is no truth in Pravda..."

Didn't know they were still publishing this:

Go by streetcar!

["There is no truth in Pravda, and there is no news in Isvestia" -Old USSR joke.]

Quote of the day

"It's ironic that Ikea looks on the U.S. and Danville the way that most people in the U.S. look at Mexico."

Damn those Europeans!

Quote of the day

“I’m not saying Oregon is a police state. But it has the taint of a police state when you have so many law-enforcement officers sitting on committees where they’re deciding whether the police should be held accountable for shooting people.”

Read it here.

Now fairier and balancier

Not that there was much doubt before, but it's probably safe now to dispel the notion that Fox News is anything short of a subsidiary of the Grand Ol' (Tea Party).

How would you like that prepared?

Leave it to the scientists to come up with the newest food fashion: pre-cooked fish!

Keep Portland Weird? No problem.

It's been a while since Worldwide Pablo has bothered to post anything here, and friends have wondered when he might return. "When there's something worth writing about," was WWP's stock answer.

Today, there is something to write about.

We've long said that the problems at City Hall have less to do with any lack of skill, ambition or actual power. Those teem in abundance, actually. No, the real problem is the leadership vacuum. While there are many well-meaning people who try to argue otherwise, the fact remains that the mayor's initial record of lies and obfuscations alone are to blame for the reality that here in the so-called "City That Works" no one is really in charge, nor has anyone truly been in charge during the last wretched year of the current administration. The mayor was crippled from Day 1, and everyone knew it. It's axiomatic that when there is a vacuum those with the smallest and narrowest agendas will rush in to fill the void. We need look no further than $20 million ditch projects and power breakfasts for the spandex class to realize how far the city has wandered from its core mission of public safety, infrastructure, parks and recreation, and services to seniors and other at-risk populations.

People scratched their heads when WWP circulated recall petitions (twice!). Today, a small vindication: He was asked three times by persons who had declined to sign the recall petitions if they could sign now. (Sorry, too late. Where were you!?)

People scratch their heads at why he so vigorously supports the candidacy of Mary Volm for city council. ("She's too edgy." "What a loudmouth." "She doesn't know her place.") Well, you know what? Either you like the way things are (and good luck with that, whoever you are), or things have to change. There is only one real change candidate on next week's ballot, and that's Mary. I'll take her unvarnished candor over smarmy half-truths any day -- even if it's hard to hear, rattles some chains  and unnerves the political sensibilities of Stumptown's faux gentility. (To say nothing about a vast number of folks, mostly men, it seems, who are averse to strong-minded, vocal women.) Well, screw the naysayers. WWP says: Bring. It. On.

Meanwhile, what to do, or say, about the present clusterfuck that is Portland, Oregon? Chief Sizer, despite her flaws, had an impossible job and was never really supported by the mayor or the commissioner ostensibly in charge of her bureau. Despite her missteps and misstatements, she comes out of this as possibly the only sympathetic character in the bunch.

Saltzman? Screwed. Thrown under the bus. Time to check out the vacation brochures, Dan.

The mayor? Good luck, your honor, in achieving squat without the support of Saltzman. (You do know how to add, don't you? Any student of Political Science 101 could have told you this in advance.) If the mayor was a lame duck before, he is cooked goose today.

And the city and her citizens? Well, we've finally learned that when it comes to City Hall, there is room for only one liar. And his name is Sam Adams.

The day the music died

Today was the day everyone at 1320 SW Broadway feared, when The Oregonian threw in the towel and finally reneged on its industry-unique lifetime job guarantee for employees. A former colleague of WWP writes about it:

The Oregonian's job guarantee is evaporating Feb. 5, the staff needs to be cut, more unpaid furlough days and must start paying for health care. We've already had a big pay cut, several buyouts, furlough days. More fun to come: another buyout in a month and highly-likely layoffs come February.

WWP no longer doubts his decision to leave his newspaper days behind him.

No small beans

When is a Starbuck's not a Starbuck's?

Happy Birthday, America