Hit and miss

Here in the People's Republic of Portland, one is accustomed to the idea that churches simply don't matter. After all, statistics say that Oregon, the Rose City in particular, is among the most unchurched places on Earth. Fewer than one in five persons here claims a membership in a place of worship; attendance is even lower. Sunday mornings -- a quiet time of the week once reserved mainly for Christians who ventured out to worship and Jews who attended the post-sabbath "Sunday schools" -- has now become a dumping ground for every street fair, rally, parade and runathon ever devised. Worldwide Pablo remembers one Sunday morning, about 10 years ago, when his church [the oldest Christian place of worship in Portland, founded in 1848] was strategically cut off from the rest of Portland because of a certain fundraising footrace. Hundreds of kindred Methodist folk gave up and simply went home, rather than navigate one of the byzantine back routes inner southwest Portland is so famous for. Factor in the the myriad hassles of conditional use permits, parking restrictions and the county's ramped-up taxation of churches' so-called "non-worship" places, and you can fairly describe Portland and Multnomah County as the most church-antagonistic community in all of America.

All of this is a prelude to making note of two newspaper reports this week, both about Portland's Pride Parade held just about two weeks ago on Father's Day. [The fact that this parade begins while Christians are still holding worship services is another bone of contention, but we digress...].

Just Out, the local gay/lesbian newspaper [not online, alas], in today's edition prints a photograph of an actual church person marching in the parade [along with her partner/spouse]. Big deal, you say? By WWP's account, that is Just Out's first photograph of a religious representative from the parade in about a decade. Every year, WWP joins in the parade, along with his similarly open-door Methodist friends, and we place bets [very un-Wesleyan, we know] whether J.O. will acknowledge that churches participate in the parade, or for that matter, even exist. We're rarely surprised at J.O.'s output.

And then there's the even sorrier excuse of newsprint known as Willamette Week, the very definition of a has-been publication. [Really, does W.W. serve any useful purpose other than providing handy impromptu head cover on suddenly rainy days?] The newspaper's token "gay journalist," in another installment of his apparently never-ending series of execrable self-absorbed, ghetto-defined commentaries, opines that the participation of the churches in the recent parade was not a "hit," but a "miss":

Christian lefties. Homos love God. God loves homos. But did we really need nearly 30 churches marching en masse to remind us we're all one big, happy family?

Ah, Christian lefties and God-loving homos. The rhetoric just doesn't get any better than that, does it? The Pulitzer people passed this up? The horror. When did stereotyping pass out of style?

As always, laughter is the best revenge. Upon every issue, WWP dutifully bounds to the newsstands of these local pulp-pushers and exacts one copy from the box. And then promptly disposes of them. WWP considers this his civic duty, in fact. Consider it one less copy in circulation. He chuckles at each and every "recycling."

As the big guy himself might say, "Do this in remembrance of Me."

Comments

[adams]

Hey, no matter where you go in the gay "community", someone's going to be upset with what's not going exactly their way. unfortunately, for many years, the easy target has been the church of whatever flavor. oh well. in the end, it's a good thing to see our church marching in the pride parade. it's a good thing to see everyone out there supporting us. if it were only Gayfolk marching, then we'd really have an uphill battle against the little minds...

[Keith]

I'll admit to feeling a lot of pain at times seeing religious Gay men and Lesbians marching by in a parade celebrating Pride. It conjurs up a lot of hurt from when I was forced to part ways with the Church I grew up in and loved so much. How about that, religious oppression spawning religious predjudice?

As for your recycling program, it is nothing less than geniious. WWP leads the way!

[tammy]

I don't think it's a good thing at all to have the church marching in the parade. We should have no fellowship with the works of darkness. This gay stuff is really getting old. It's unbelieveable how a group of people who practice twisted sex suddenly become a political hot bed. Ridiculous. Do you see married people walking in a married pride parade? Instead of getting about the business of saving souls as the church was meant to do, we now have to spend our time pointing out to people without a brain that having sex with people whose equipement is the same as theirs is a sin! It is just so basic! The gay lifestyle is no different than any other sin. The church isn't out trying to buddy up with other deviant people why should they try to buddy up to the gays. The churches only responsibility to them is to point out their sin and try to get them to turn from their evil ways. To march in a parade isn't the answer.

[Worldwide Pablo]

WWP would be interested in the chapter and verse where Jesus says anything remotely related the last post.

Sermon on the Mount? The Greatest Commandment? The Great Commission?

Nope, keep looking ... WWP thinks you'll find it somewhere much closer to home, Tammy.

[tammy]

Tammy said:"I don't think it's a good thing at all to have the church marching in the parade. We should have no fellowship with the works of darkness".

WWP said: "WWP would be interested in the chapter and verse where Jesus says anything remotely related the last post."

Here you go WWP.

Ephesians 5:11,12 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them, For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.

[Jake]

Let's see, by that criteria, I cannot have fellowship with those who;
Eat fruit from a tree less than five years old (Lev. 19:23).
Cross-breed their livestock (Lev. 19:19).
Grow two different plants in their garden (Lev. 19:19).
Wear clothes made from a polyester-blend fabric (Lev. 19:19).
Read their horoscope (Lev. 19:26).
Consult a psychic (Lev. 19:31).
Cut their hair (Lev. 19:27).
Trim their beard (Lev. 19:27).
Have a tattoo (Lev. 19:28).
Plant their crops for more than seven years without allowing a “rest” or “jubilee” period (Lev. 25:4 and Ex. 23:10-13).
Bear a grudge (Lev. 19:17).
Collect interest on a loan (Ex. 22:24).
Insult a leader (Ex. 22:27).
Mistreat a foreigner or resident alien (Ex. 22:21, 23:9).
Spread false rumours (Ex. 23:1).
Drive a Mercury or a Saturn; know anyone named Diana, Athena, or Thor; took your children to see Hercules; eat or talk about Mars bars; or anything else involving the name of another deity (Ex. 23:13 — "Do not pronounce the name of another deity. You must not let it be heard through your mouth.")

Man, I'm feeling a bit lonely already!

[tammy]

Jake, you don't know your Bible very well. All those laws you quoted are Levitical laws. Jesus did away with those laws by his death and resurrection.

[jorvuis]

Did he seek public input??? If he changed those laws without a public process of some kind, then I smell recall!

[Worldwide Pablo]

Well, it's worth asking, Tammy: Which non-Levitical laws would you deem worthy?

[tammy]

All those laws that Jesus reiterated in te New Testament.

[Worldwide Pablo]

And just what was it that Jesus said about same-sex relationships? That is, if one were to read the Bible literally. [You do DO that, right?]

In any event, at your invitation, WWP suggests we begin with either John 8:7 or Matthew 7:3.

Take your pick.